The Little Spoon

5 Oct

I heard the scream come out of my mouth. But it was far away, like when you dissociate from your body, which is exactly what was happening. I yanked hard on the shoot to release the parachute. It opened, but I didn’t feel my body slow down. The air on my skin was hot and whipping. I looked down at the ant farm of world below and couldn’t remember how I had made this decision. When you lose presence, even for a moment, all kinds of shit can happen without your consent. The parachute moved in front of me, blocking my view. I touched its thick yellow and white striped body, puffed from the wind, soothing like a pillow. And then, I was on the ground.

None of it hurt, but I felt exhausted. I lay my body down at the edge of the painted orange circle, the spot I was supposed to land on. I felt proud that I landed exactly right. I lay, looking up at the sun, breathing and relieved. The world was quiet. I rolled onto my side and saw a small, black bobcat running towards me, not angry, but as if we knew each other. The cat sniffed my face, then curled itself into my side like the little spoon, and fell asleep.

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